‘Southern Voices’ is a reader-submitted platform for all types of writing. Today’s submission comes from Linda Torkelson, a healthcare marketing and communications professional and lifestyle blogger on The Duchess Diaries, a blog for “women of a certain age.” She recently featured commentary about the Netflix documentary, Tiger King, which she’s sharing with StyleBlueprint readers. For those unfamiliar with the blog, “Duchess Dolls” are the blog readers, and the “Chickens” are Linda’s children. You can visit The Duchess Diaries here. For now, enjoy this commentary on the wildly popular Netflix show.

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Tiger King. Even those with superior Netflix skills, who believe we’ve seen everything, were unprepared.

Documentary lovers? There is none better. Duchess Dolls with a hankering for a murder mystery? Check, check and check.

Even the Oldest Chicken, who believes nothing and takes skepticism to a new level, sent a simple text: “That chick totally fed her husband to a tiger.”

Baffled? Get yourself on Netflix now. Tiger King will not only make you happy to be quarantined, it will absolve you of all sin, real or imagined. Consider this.

If you’ve never…

  • Married two men at once,
  • Filmed seven episodes of a documentary shirtless,
  • Said, “Hello all you cool cats and kittens,”
  • Spent millions on lawsuits alleging tiger abuse while riding your bike through miles of cages on your own property,
  • Calmly said to a room full of people, “We’ve had a tiger pull a person’s arm off, so if you’d like a refund, I get it,”
  • Sat on a throne in the middle of your workplace,
  • Fed your husband to a tiger or buried him in the well,
  • Convinced young girls to give up their worldly goods to be one of your wives, using tigers to do your bidding,
  • Donned a skin suit to look like a tiger,

Then you don’t belong in the world of Joe Exotic. Make the sign of the cross now.

Joe Exotic, star of Tiger King, is pictured here with one of his 200+ wild felines. Image: Netflix

It’s not all gasping and eye-popping. Well, yeah, it is, but it’s also a learning experience. For instance, did you know…

  • That people who live with tigers grow their hair to waist level?
  • That you can dig through dumpsters behind Walmart and feed expired meat to your pets? And make sausage for pizza?
  • That people with more money than sense buy animals that can kill them? Crazy cat lady is real.
  • That Oklahoma may never recover from the embarrassment? You expect that sort of thing in Florida.
  • That you can blow up alligators and nobody cares?
  • That a liger is a real thing?
  • That Shaquille O’Neill loves white tigers?
  • That there are references you’ll have to look up in Urban Dictionary? There will be more questions when you find out.
  • That you can be hired to murder someone and decide partway through to get drunk and then it really doesn’t count? Oh, and you can keep the money.
  • That people who actually sit on the crazy side of the fence have no idea they’re over there?
  • That you’ll walk away believing there are more criminals roaming about than not?
  • That you’ll never again complain about your husband’s haircut?
  • That normal isn’t really so boring?
  • And, finally, if you wear a ring of flowers on your head, people will believe you killed your husband.

It always comes back to fashion, Dolls. Always.

Linda Torkelson, a healthcare marketing and communications professional and lifestyle blogger on The Duchess Diaries, a blog for “women of a certain age.”

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