Today’s article comes to us from Lauren Reed of Nashville, TN. Lauren is a founding partner at REED Public Relations and co-founder of Wealth of a Woman.
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Money isn’t just about numbers — it’s about values, emotions, and personal choices. Yet, for many women, personal finance can feel overwhelming and laced with guilt, uncertainty, and even avoidance. The key to financial empowerment isn’t found in spreadsheets or complex investment strategies; it begins with self-awareness.
Before diving into budgets and financial plans, it’s essential to take a step back, reflect, and create a money philosophy that aligns with your life. By looking inward, defining what wealth truly means to you, and crafting a spending plan that reflects your priorities, you can take control of your financial life.
Here’s where to start.
Step 1: Look Inward – Understanding Your Money Mindset
Before you make a single financial decision, take a moment to examine your money mindset. Our beliefs about money don’t form in a vacuum — they are shaped by personal experiences, societal expectations, and even historical influences that have impacted women’s financial autonomy. From coverture laws that once prevented women from owning property to modern-day wage gaps, our collective financial history has created subconscious narratives about what’s possible.
This includes taking an honest look at your relationship with money. Feelings around money run the gamut. Personally, I struggle with a scarcity mindset and overanalyzing my finances, but I know people who tend to look the other way and avoid reading their credit card statements.
In my work at Wealth of a Woman, I have learned that we all have things that trigger or excite us about finances, and once we learn what they are, we can truly lean into building a thriving financial life.
Ask yourself:
- What messages about money did I absorb growing up? Was it a source of stress, security, or freedom?
- How do I feel when I think about my finances — empowered, anxious, indifferent?
- Have I internalized the idea that money is scarce, or do I believe in abundance?
Take this one step further by trying a financial lifeline exercise: map key financial moments — your first paycheck, a setback, an investment win. This can reveal patterns shaping your money mindset. When I did this, I saw how deeply my scarcity mindset was rooted in past experiences. I had always feared that no matter how much I earned, it could all vanish. Early financial instability made money feel fragile and unpredictable, reinforcing the belief that ‘there is never enough.’
But my lifeline also showed resilience and growth. As a mother and business owner, I realized how financial anxiety shaped my decisions. Recognizing my history of survival and success helped me reframe my story — from fear of loss to confidence in my ability to adapt and thrive. Instead of waiting for scarcity, I started celebrating the abundance already in my life.
Step 2: Define What Wealth Means to You
Wealth is deeply personal. Society tends to measure it in dollars and decimals, but true wealth is about more than just accumulating assets. It’s about living a life that aligns with your values.
Consider:
One question I like to ask myself is: If I had one week left on this earth, how would I spend it? This exercise helps me clarify my deepest values and ensures that my financial decisions align with the life I truly want to live.
- If money weren’t an obstacle, how would you design your ideal life?
- What does financial success look like to you? Is it freedom, security, generosity, or something else?
- Are your financial goals rooted in societal expectations, or are they truly yours?
For some, wealth means a large real estate portfolio. For others, it means the ability to take summers off, travel the world, or give generously to causes they believe in. The key is defining what it looks like for you and ensuring your financial decisions reflect that vision.
Step 3: Align Your Spending Plan with Your Vision
A traditional budget can feel restrictive, but a spending plan is liberating. It puts you in control of directing your money toward what truly matters. My financial advisor and Wealth of a Woman partner, Teresa JW Bailey, introduced me to this concept, and it completely shifted how I approach my finances. Instead of focusing on what you can’t spend, shift your mindset to where you want to spend.
Here’s how to align your finances with your values:
- Prioritize What Matters: Review your current expenses. Do they reflect your values? If travel is important to you, but you’re spending heavily on takeout, consider adjusting.
- Reduce Non-Essentials: This isn’t about deprivation; it’s about choice. Redirect funds from areas that don’t bring you joy or meaning to those that do.
- Make it a Ritual: Set a monthly check-in with yourself. Light your favorite candle, pour a cup of tea, and review your spending plan with curiosity, not judgment. Celebrate the progress you’re making toward financial alignment.
Bonus Challenge: Remove the Taboo
For years, we’ve been taught that it is impolite to talk about money — something that many of us, especially Southern women, have taken to heart. Yet money is one of the few universal things we all deal with every day in some form. Whether good or bad, we all have feelings about money, and I believe that avoiding these conversations has only added to the burden.
- If you have a question about your retirement plan, ask!
- Are you wondering if you’re charging enough for your services? Have an open conversation with other professionals in your field.
- Are you thinking about buying a home or making a major investment? Discuss it with trusted friends or mentors who have been through it.
Nearly all of us have experienced unexpected medical expenses, a credit card balance that crept up, or a financial situation that didn’t feel good. The truth is, we don’t have to navigate this alone. Of course, like anything, it’s important to share with trusted people who deserve to know your story. But by removing the taboo and normalizing financial discussions, we can support each other in building a more confident and informed relationship with money.
The Bottom Line
Embarking on a personal finance journey is more than merely accumulating wealth; it’s about achieving holistic financial well-being and fostering a healthier relationship with money.
As modern women, we have unprecedented access to financial tools and knowledge — opportunities our ancestors never had. Where our grandmothers may have faced closed doors, women today are paving the road to financial independence.
We’re not just building wealth; we’re setting powerful examples for future generations — our daughters, granddaughters, nieces, and every young woman who looks to us for guidance. I challenge women everywhere to embrace this opportunity with confidence, wisdom, and purpose, honoring those who came before us while blazing new trails for those who will follow.
Interested in learning more? Check out Wealth of a Woman’s free online course, which includes a guide to the financial lifelines exercise discussed.
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