‘Bless Your Heart’ & Other Ways to Throw Shade in the South

Everything sounds sweeter in a Southern drawl — even phrases with less-than-gracious intentions. Southerners don’t necessarily have the market cornered on insults, but ask anyone with a Southern grandmother, and they can probably rattle off a few one-liners ranging from backhanded compliments and thinly-veiled insults to outright venom. We all know and love a good bless your heart, but just for fun, we’ve compiled a list of our favorite sassy Southernisms that make us smile (or seethe, depending on the context).

*Updated by Elizabeth Master in June 2025.

A matter of intelligence

Of course, it’s not polite to comment outright on someone’s mental fitness or lack thereof. So, around the South, you might hear phrases like these instead …

• The porch light’s on, but no one’s home.
• Her biscuit‘s not done in the middle, but we love her.
• He’s not the sharpest tool in the shed (or the brightest bulb in the box, or the sweetest cookie in the batch).
• “Sammy’s so confused, he doesn’t know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt.” — a favorite quote from Steel Magnolias.
• She’s nice, but she’s about as smart as a marble.
• A broke clock is right twice a day.
• He couldn’t organize a two-car parade.

Pin

Putting up appearances

Appearances aren’t everything. But we can’t help but notice …

• That’s a little like putting lipstick on a pig, isn’t it?
• She’s cute, but I wouldn’t put her on a float.
• I bet those shoes sure are comfortable.
• I love your new haircut. It looks SO much better!
• She’s got a great personality.
• How creative! I could never pull that off.

Social graces

When folks miss the mark — or live in a way that we simply would never — old-school Southerners are ready with a few choice phrases designed to make a subtle point and move right along …

• Well, aren’t you sweet?
  
• Thank you for sharing.
  
• That’s so different!
  
• I don’t care what anybody says. I think she’s sweet.
  
• Good for you!
  
• I just love how you don’t care what people think.
  
• Pretty is as pretty does.
  
• You’re not married? There’s nothing wrong with that, honey. You work so hard.
• Don’t throw shade if you can’t even grow your own tree. 

Pin

Dealing with a gossip 

“I don’t mean to gossip — I just happen to be very well-informed!”

• She could start a rumor in an empty room.
• She’s got more faces than the town clock.
• He’s nosier than a raccoon in a trashcan.
• Whatever she heard, you’re going to hear it too. Twice.
• She’s so fake, even her hair has an expiration date.

  Pin

Disclaimers

You can get away with saying just about anything as long as you follow it up with one of these:

• … but they mean well.
• … God love ’em.
• … but we love ’em.
• … but that’s not their fault. They just don’t know any better.
  
  

  Pin

And, of course:

… bless their hearts.

**********

To stay in the know on the best of the South, follow us on Instagram!