Today’s article on how to talk about money comes to us from Lauren Reed of Nashville, TN. Lauren is a founding partner at REED Public Relations and co-founder of Wealth of a Woman.
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In the South, we were raised with a deep respect for manners. We were taught to be gracious, humble, and above all, polite. That meant saying “yes ma’am,” sending handwritten thank-you notes, and never, ever talking about money.
Like many women who grew up in this culture, I absorbed the belief that discussing finances was tacky at best and disrespectful at worst. Money was something whispered about behind closed doors, if at all. The unspoken rule was clear: polite company doesn’t talk about money.
But here’s the thing. I’ve come to realize that silence around money doesn’t serve us. It doesn’t protect us. In fact, it often limits us. It keeps us from negotiating fair salaries, asking smart questions, or learning how to invest wisely. It prevents us from supporting each other through life’s financial ups and downs.
Talking about money isn’t rude; it’s revolutionary. And it’s time we all joined the conversation.
The Cultural Conditioning
We didn’t wake up one day afraid to talk about money. We were taught.
“Good girls don’t talk about money.” That belief was woven into the fabric of our upbringing. For Southern women, particularly, this notion was deeply embedded in the culture of hospitality. We were praised for being kind, accommodating, and non-confrontational. Assertiveness, especially around money, wasn’t part of the playbook.
Instead of learning how to budget, negotiate, or invest, many of us learned to avoid the topic altogether. We saw our mothers and grandmothers defer financial decisions to husbands or partners. Even if they managed the day-to-day household expenses, they rarely had insight into, or control over, long-term financial planning.
The result? A generational silence that left many women feeling underprepared and overwhelmed when it came time to make major financial decisions. Without open dialogue, it’s hard to know what’s fair and possible, or even what questions to ask.
This silence didn’t just appear out of nowhere; it was passed down. Being “respectable” or “well-mannered” meant not prying, not sharing, and certainly not discussing something as private — and powerful — as money.
Why Talking About Money Matters
We’ve inherited a script that no longer fits the world we live in. Today, more women are leading businesses, managing households solo, and building wealth than ever before. And yet many of us are still navigating our financial lives with one hand tied behind our backs because we were never taught to talk about money.
But here’s the good news: we can rewrite the script every time we open our mouths.
Transparency = Power
When we talk about money, we begin to demystify it. The more we share, the less intimidating it becomes to ask questions or admit what we don’t know. Normalizing these conversations helps us learn, grow, and take action.
Talking about money builds confidence and independence. It gives us the tools to manage our budgets, make smart investments, and plan for the future with clarity instead of fear.
Perhaps most importantly, transparency reduces shame. Money, especially for women, often carries emotional weight. We tie our worth to our net worth. We stay silent when we’re struggling, worried we’re the only ones. But when we speak openly, we realize we’re not alone—and that knowledge is liberating.
It Strengthens Relationships
Honest conversations about money also lead to deeper, more authentic relationships. In friendships, it helps us avoid resentment or confusion when planning trips or navigating different lifestyles. In romantic partnerships, financial transparency is the foundation of trust and shared vision.
In mentorships, sharing real numbers — salaries, freelance rates, business revenue — can be transformative. It’s one thing to encourage a younger woman to “ask for what she’s worth.” It’s another to say, “Here’s what I charge, and here’s why.” That kind of openness lights the path forward for others.
It Drives Generational Change and Equity
Every honest money conversation we have chips away at the old taboo. It sets a new standard for openness, empowerment, and equality. And when we talk about money in front of our kids or younger women in our lives, we’re not just helping them, we’re modeling confidence, curiosity, and capability. That ripple effect matters.
How to Talk About Money (Without it Getting Weird)
So, how do we start?
Lead with Curiosity, Not Comparison
The goal isn’t to stack yourself up against someone else; it’s to learn. Instead of asking, “How much do you make?” try, “How did you decide what to charge for that?” or “What’s your approach to budgeting?” These types of questions open the door to valuable conversations without making anyone feel exposed.
Build Your ‘Money Muscle’
Just like anything else, talking about money takes practice. Start with trusted friends, family, or mentors. These low-stakes conversations are a great way to build your confidence. Share your experiences, your wins, your worries. Chances are, they’ll share theirs too, and you’ll both walk away feeling more informed and less alone.
Acknowledge the Awkwardness
It’s okay to feel uncomfortable. You’re not doing it wrong; you’re just doing something new. Try saying, “This feels a little awkward, but I think it’s important we talk about it.” That simple admission can be a powerful icebreaker, setting a tone of honesty and respect.
Invite Others to Join You
Once you start these conversations, encourage others to do the same. Whether it’s a group chat, a book club, or a casual lunch, create space for money talk. When women share knowledge, everyone benefits.
Reclaiming the Conversation
Breaking the silence around money unlocks more than just financial empowerment. We unlock connection, courage, and a sense of community.
Sure, the discomfort might always be there, at least a little. But so is the opportunity to ask for more, to advocate for ourselves, to support one another, and to show the next generation that talking about money doesn’t make us rude or tacky; it makes us powerful.
As Southern women, we know the strength of tradition. But we also know how to evolve with grace. Let’s keep our hospitality and handwritten notes, but let’s also build a culture of financial transparency, curiosity, and confidence.
The more we talk about money, the less taboo it becomes and the more we all stand to gain.
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