Each Monday, we shine a light on an amazing woman who makes an impact on Memphis and beyond. We call this our “FACES” series, because these women are the “faces” of positive change in our community and throughout the South. In every interview, we ask them to give us the words of wisdom that have changed their lives, and their answers are always inspiring. Here is each woman’s response to the question: What is your best piece of advice, and if applicable, who is it from?
We hope you glean a bit of wisdom from these inspiring words. We sure did!
The Best Advice from Our 2019 FACES
Catherine Cushinberry: One of the quotes that I live by is, “No one has to live with you for the rest of your life but you.” Even if you’re sleeping next to someone, they don’t know what you’re thinking, they don’t know what you’re feeling. You have to make decisions knowing that at night, you are the one truly and ultimately left with what you feel and what you’re thinking. That’s a level of self-awareness and self-care that we often compromise for others. Image: Mary Kate Steele Photography
Jessica Honegger: One piece of advice that’s changed me on this crazy journey came from brilliant author and thinker Andy Crouch, who talks about the importance of having rhythms for your life and holding yourself to them. That includes not just having rhythms for working and being productive, but for rest, too. I’m a future-oriented person, so it’s hard for me to make space for rest. I am always thinking ahead to the next thing I could be doing. But by committing to a life rhythm that includes space for rest and holding myself to it, I’m able to remember better that life is not all about the hustle. And, ultimately, that rest is going to allow me to keep going for the long haul.
Tami Sawyer: The advice I always give is to live your life like the freest person you know. When you realize that you’re underprivileged because of any of these categories — gender, religion, race, etc. — you hold yourself back. Live your life free so you can do what you want and what you know needs to be done. Image: Mary Kate Steele Photography
Stephanie Ferreira: Trust your instincts and always be patient with yourself; it will make you patient with others. I have learned on numerous occasions that if I’m uncomfortable with a situation in the beginning, I will be uncomfortable with it at the end. I process difficult information in a gentle way, so that I do not upset myself or others too much.
Beverly Robertson: You’ve never lived a perfect day until you’ve done something for someone they could never do for themselves. Image: Mary Kate Steele Photography
Meri Amour: There are these billboards that are up and they’re black and have white lettering on them and they’re supposedly messages from God, and the one I love the most says, “Just love them all, I’ll sort it out later. – God.” Image: Laura Armstrong of NLA Projects
Wendi C. Thomas: “What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?” I’m a big believer in the power of affirmations. They work. They absolutely work. It sounds hokey, and new-agey, but I could see MLK50. I could see it. And then here it is, with the help of a whole lot of people who see the vision after you’re able to articulate it to them. You have to be able to see it first. Image: Laura Armstrong of NLA Projects
Laura Smith: You can’t please everyone. It seems so simple, yet we sometimes forget. I am a people pleaser by nature, so that was hard for me to accept, but at the end of the day, I have to make myself happy. And learn to say no — you can’t be everything for everyone. Image: Laura Armstrong of NLA Projects
Kallen Blair & Alie B. Gorrie:
Kallen Blair: Too many people have given me amazing advice! I am incredibly grateful for the people who have been placed in my life. This is not a piece of advice, but a mentor of mine recently sent me a message and signed it, “Wishing you bravery and abandon today.” I wrote that out and put it on my wall. What if we all lived in “bravery and abandon” every day? I think it’s a lovely thought.
Alie B. Gorrie: My acting teacher in the city happens to work a lot with Simon Sinek, author of the book Start With Why. She spreads his message to us constantly: It’s not about WHAT you do, but WHY you do it. I am always coming back to my “why?”. Because if we aren’t living every day based on our own personal “why,” then what’s all this for?
Cynthia Daniels: Always follow your vision, even if others don’t fully see it! I learned that from my mentor, Beverly Robertson, who is a pioneer in business in Memphis. When I first started thinking of events to plan, some people would tell me, “Oh that won’t work in Memphis.” Beverly always told me that my vision is for me. I can’t expect everyone else to always see it in the beginning, but that shouldn’t stop me. Image: Laura Armstrong of NLA Projects
Jill Haag: Work hard, believe in yourself, and follow your heart — it will never let you down. Image: Kimberly Thomas of KP Fusion
Kristin Fox-Trautman (left): Don’t let others dictate your destiny. You have great strength, intelligence and wisdom inside of you that can help you create the path in life that is your true calling. Image: Elizabeth Looney Photography
Stacy Brown (aka “Chicken Salad Chick”): The best piece of advice I have ever received came from my mother. She told me to never fear change. Depend on it. When things are going well, do not take them for granted, because things will change. When things are going badly, do not let that paralyze you because things will change. Image: Emily Jane
Jenny Koltnow: When I was finishing the new Memphis Fellows program and a few weeks from having my first child, someone told me to remember that when you say ‘yes’ to one thing, you say ‘no’ to another. I originally saw this as advice about prioritizing, but as life has evolved, I realize there is a deeper meaning spiritually and emotionally … oftentimes you have to choose to see that good can come from doubt and challenges. When you are mentoring others and parenting, you must choose your words wisely. It all boils down to saying ‘yes’ to one thing is saying ‘no’ to another. Image: Elizabeth Looney Photography
Liz Brasher: My best piece of advice is to not ever think, as an artist or a creator, that you’ve arrived — to just constantly see every day or every creative moment as a next stepping stone. Image: Elizabeth Looney Photography
Tarrin McGhee: “A great PR person stays behind the scenes.” I received this advice from Tonya Meeks. Image: Elizabeth Looney Photography
Penelope Huston: Be your authentic self. Image: Elizabeth Looney Photography
Rose Marie Swift: “Less is more.” I love that. Image: Leila Grossman
Debbi & Allie Allen:
Allie: I cling to the Bible verse, “Be still and know that I am God.” Image: Elizabeth Looney Photography
Chassidy Jade: Educate yourself on your craft. Also, we’re artists, and we always forget about the business side of things. Coming up, I definitely wish I had paid attention to my livelihood as much as I did my art. Image: Elizabeth Looney Photography
Alli Webb of Drybar: I have always had a tendency to react and respond immediately. I have learned the benefit of thinking things through before we make any decisions or react impulsively, and as founders, we want to react to everything and manage everything immediately. Business moves so fast especially in the entrepreneurial stages, and it’s so important to pause and look at the big picture and overall goals of what you are trying to achieve. Image: Submitted
Karen Garner: My best advice would be to take every challenge and adversity and learn from them. Take that experience and move forward and learn from it. Image: Elizabeth Looney Photography
Whitney Hardy: If you have a dream, go after it strategically and with passion. It’s not always easy, but if you have those two things and a strong support system, you can do it. Image: Elizabeth Looney Photography
Dr. Frances Tunnell Carter: Women can be catty if we want to be, and you know what I mean by catty. But try to be human about everything. Try to work alongside each other — women and men, and be your own person. Show respect for each other. Show love for each other. Just be good to one another. Image: Eric & Jamie Gay of Eric & Jamie Photography
Cindy Cogbill: Learn to hear people. We always can say that we’re listening, but if you don’t listen authentically, then you don’t get to know people. Image: Elizabeth Looney Photography
Chef Tam: Be a leader. You don’t have to be a follower. When I was younger, my dad would get on me and say, “You’re a leader. You don’t follow anyone else.” Everything that I do, I do it on a grand scale because I know that’s how he would have wanted it. Image: Elizabeth Looney Photography
Megan Klein: I love the book Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg; and one of the things that she said in the book is, “If you’re offered a seat on a rocket ship, don’t ask which seat. Just get on.” Image: Elizabeth Looney Photography
Roshun Austin: Love thy neighbor as thyself. That solves everything. But first, sometimes we have to teach people to love themselves. You are Memphis. You are internationally known, you are the movement of this river, the blues in this song. Image: Elizabeth Looney Photography
Carrie Morey of Callie’s Hot Little Biscuit: Treat people how you want to be treated. My father has told me that from as early as I can remember. Image: Kim Graham of Kim Graham Photography
Jenny Bartlett Prescott: This piece of advice that our medical director actually told me a couple of years ago that has really stuck is: There’s probably more than one right answer. As a perfectionist, it’s helpful for me to remember that. It takes the pressure off. Image: Elizabeth Looney Photography
Jamey Hatley: My mentor, Memphis native Arthur Flowers, always tells the story of telling a friend he wanted to be the greatest novelist who ever lived. She said, “No, Art, that’s not what you want. You want to sing your song the best you can sing it. That way you can appreciate other folks singing theirs.” Image: Elizabeth Looney Photography
Linda McNeil: I have two pieces of advice. “Trust God and never doubt. If you’re going to worry, why pray?” And also, “The answer is always ‘no’ if you don’t ask.” This piece of advice helped me in situations where I was nervous or felt anxiety around asking large amounts of money. I learned that the alternative was definitely no if I didn’t make the request. Image: Elizabeth Looney Photography
Anne Mathes: I would say not to be afraid of change. You may not know the way forward but you may know a way that has closed to you. And sometimes that is as important as having it all figured out. You have to have the courage to know when it’s time to do something new. Image: Abbey Bratcher
Paula Head: Early on, a friend said to my husband, “ People want to help … some are going to have financial resources and some are going to have human resources. You are going to have to learn how to smile and say thank you.” Image: Leila Grossman
Tanya Tucker: Like I said, get out there and perform everywhere you can. You never know who’s listening or paying attention. Image: Danny Clinch
Jennifer Hobson: “If you want something done, give it to somebody who’s busy.” People who are busy just know how to take care of business. Image: Abbey Bratcher
Libby Ware: I have to agree with Doug when he said, “Don’t open a bar and have a baby the same weekend.” I do not recommend it! Although, it did teach me that anything is possible. One day, when I finally have some free time, I would love to read Everything is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo because I truly believe it is! Image: Abbey Bratcher
Olliette Murry-Drobot: Sit still and listen. Listen to your gut; listen to what the universe is telling you. Image: Abbey Bratcher
Granny Rich: Be caring and loving and look at everything in a positive way, instead of looking for the bad in everybody and everything. We sometimes think things are the end of the world, but it’s not. The world keeps turning, and good things keep happening. Image: Leila Grossman
Ephie Johnson: Know your business, listen, and take action. Image: Abbey Bratcher
Carolyn Chism Hardy: Follow your dream. Don’t let anybody stop you. By that, I don’t mean to ignore the advice of your loved ones! If they have concerns, listen to them, hear them out — then work together to develop a plan for success. Let others’ advice cause you to pause and think, but not deter you from your dream. Image: Abbey Bratcher
Tabitha Glenn: My husband keeps me grounded. Whenever I’m stressed or worried, he always tells me, “Just be you.” It reminds me to be authentic and real. The minute you lose that authenticity, you’ve lost everything. Image: Abbey Bratcher
Farris Benko: Be yourself and don’t let anybody hold you back! Image: Gray Benko
Karen Lombardo: The best advice I’ve ever been given is, “Just be yourself in every aspect of your job and every moment of your career.” This sounds so cliché and so easy, but it’s actually really challenging to completely be your true self. “Fake it ’til you make it” might be true for a while, but it doesn’t last. For me, being my true, authentic self means approaching all business interactions with kindness. I can’t tell you how many times I have been told to stop being so nice throughout my career … but I’ll just never do that! Image: Abbey Bratcher
Yetta Lewis: Someone said to me a year ago, “Promise less and deliver more.” As I’ve gotten older, it’s translated to “honor your commitments.” If I say I’m going to do something, I am going to do it extensively. Image: Abbey Bratcher
Karen Adams: There’s so much, especially since I’m a mom, but I think my main one would be don’t forget the little things. Image: Abbey Bratcher
A HUGE thank you to all of these incredible women and their wealth of advice!
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