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Today, many educational institutions take an evidence-based approach to instill confidence in the students they’ve been tasked with educating. Right here in Memphis, St. Mary’s Episcopal School helps girls ages 2 to 12th grade develop persistence, resilience, and a deep sense of self-belief. By using specific techniques and tools to do so, St. Mary’s helps young women succeed both academically and later in life.
A common misconception about learning is that it’s a linear process, but at St. Mary’s, teachers want students to embrace the roadblocks and mistakes they encounter along the way. “A lot of times, students run into hiccups and mistakes, and that’s a really big part of the journey,” says Carrie Ruhland, an SK-2 science teacher and the STEAM Coordinator at St. Mary’s. “My goal is to expose students to as many experiences as possible so they can carry those things with them through life.”
Carrie adds that this notion of embracing mistakes is crucial for young girls, as they tend to possess more perfectionistic behaviors. “By nature, girls have a hard time with mistakes,” she tells us. “They want to get it right the first time, so we really try to help them understand that mistakes are part of the process, not to give up, and we’re not supposed to be perfect at everything.”
Lauren Mitchell, an SK-5 counselor at St. Mary’s, echoes the importance of embracing mistakes and adds that when students experience an obstacle, she encourages them to use empowering language. For example, when a student says they can’t do something, Lauren encourages them to add the word “yet” to the end of their sentence, changing it to “I can’t spell this word yet” or “I can’t solve this math problem yet.” “That means ‘I’m just not quite there yet, but there are things I can do to get there,'” she explains.
In addition to using “yet,” Lauren also teaches students a technique called “bouncing,” which encourages them to approach a challenge or roadblock from a different perspective. When something doesn’t go according to plan, students are taught to ask themselves real-time questions like What can I do differently? and What’s another strategy I can try? to help them reach a solution.
After students learn to embrace challenges and use empowering language, St. Mary’s teachers apply these ideas to their academic lessons, creating hands-on activities and showing real-world examples. Lauren recently shared a story from the Big Life Journal about Tina Hovsepian, an architect and philanthropist in California who created foldable cardboard houses for people experiencing homelessness. Then, as a collaborative project with science teacher Meagan Micheal, and as a way to bring their ideas to life, students were given the challenge to work on teams and design something out of cardboard that could help a person, animal, or the environment. Categories included emotions, learning, organization, hygiene, communication, transportation, and shelter. This project took place in the Maker’s Space, where students had access to a variety of materials and tools that they used to build their cardboard creations. “That was an opportunity to build that confidence because what they wanted to create didn’t always work out,” Lauren says. “It was an opportunity for them to practice bouncing and say, ‘Okay, what’s a different strategy I can use?’”
She adds that this use of real-world examples and people also helps students see the entire learning process from beginning to end — mistakes included. “We can normalize how things play out in teaching students about real life and people who have overcome challenges,” explains Lauren. “That’s a really powerful thing because many times, girls see successful individuals, and they do not see the grit, determination, and how many times things didn’t go their way. Normalizing those challenges is where the real growth occurs — in a safe space with safe adults.”
Carrie adds that St. Mary’s also helps its students build confidence by encouraging them to try new activities — whether those activities are in the classroom or part of extracurricular programs. Teachers and staff lean into each student’s passion, giving them the resources and confidence they need and allowing them to experiment, explore, collaborate, and step out of their comfort zone. “When they go to college and eventually get jobs, our girls have this ability to forge ahead, and they know themselves, what they’re capable of, who they are, and they have this ‘can do, go for it’ attitude that is really remarkable to watch develop,” explains Carrie.
When girls leave St. Mary’s, they are well-prepared academically for whatever journey comes next, and confident in who they are as individuals and what they’re capable of doing. “These girls have a strong sense of who they are, where their interests lie, and they’ve got a unique sense of confidence that only a St. Mary’s girl has,” says Carrie.
St. Mary’s Episcopal School is located at 60 Perkins Extended Memphis, TN 38117. To learn more, visit stmarysschool.org or call (901) 537-1472.
This article is sponsored by St. Mary’s Episcopal School. All photography by Lisa Buser.
