Missy Cook: FACES of Williamson County
When families face childhood cancer, Missy Cook makes sure that all members are cared for and supported. Meet this true local gem today.
Six years ago, when Missy Cook found a lump on her 8-week-old baby Cooperβs neck, she and her husband, Rod, took him to the pediatrician, who referred them to Monroe Carell Jr. Childrenβs Hospital at Vanderbilt. His diagnosis was infantile fibrosarcoma, a cancer so rare that the chances of a child developing it are literally one in a million.
Last year, she was dealt another blow, when her husband passed away unexpectedly.
Today, meet Missy Cook, who is honest about her journey in dealing with a child with cancer and her determination to carry on with her husband Rodβs passion to help and encourage other families facing the unwelcome disease. We are proud to have her as our first FACES of Williamson County.
Tell us about the days following Cooperβs diagnosis.
Cooperβs older brothers were often at home while we shuttled back and forth between hospital and home for treatment. Cooper endured surgeries and extended hospital stays, with the medical staff dubbing him βCooper the trooper.β
At a time when most parents would have been exhausted and overwhelmed dealing with a child who has a serious illness, what made you decide to start theΒ Cooper TrooperΒ Foundation?
In the midst of dealing with Cooperβs diagnosis, we realized quickly howΒ childhood cancer impacts the entire family unit, not just the sick child. AsΒ parents of other children, you are torn between the focus that you mustΒ have on your sick child, while still trying to make sure your other childrenΒ are loved, cared for and recognized for the courage they too must have.
We looked at the difficulties we faced in supporting our well children at a time when their brother needed our full attention as an opportunity toΒ create something to help other parents in this situation. There are manyΒ resources out there for the sick child, as there should be. Yet thereΒ is almost nothing to support the siblings who really are βheroes in theΒ shadows.β These siblings can have so many emotions, from worry and fearΒ for their brother or sister to jealousy, even, because all the attention has shifted to their sick sibling. They need support, too, and we wanted to find aΒ way to do that, through encouragement and resources, so that they do not feel left out or alone in the process.
What resources does the foundation provide?
The foundation offers βCourage and Caring Kitsβ for siblings with age-appropriate reading materialΒ as well asΒ personalized βCaring and Courageous Cancer Sibβ certificates, information and resources for parents, and other tools to help siblings of cancer patients cope with the diagnosis. The foundation also funds pediatric cancer research through an endowed fund at Monroe Carrell Jr.Childrenβs Hospital.
How is Cooper now?
Cooper is a thriving and healthy 6-year-old, who is officially cancer-free for five years now. He will continue to be seen once a year by a special group of oncologists at the Survivorship Clinic at Monroe Carell Jr. ChildrenβsΒ Hospital at Vanderbilt, but he will no longer have to see a regular oncologist and get MRI scans every six months unless there is a concern for such.
How old were your other children whenΒ Cooper was diagnosed? How has that shapedΒ them?
Carson was 5 years old and Colby was 2 1/2 years old at the time of Cooperβs diagnosis.Β We saw an impact on both of them as we went through everythingΒ with Cooper. Research shows that siblings, though often overlookedΒ unintentionally, bear the greatest unseen burden of stress in the familyΒ when a child is diagnosed with cancer. Thankfully, Cooperβs brothers wereΒ supportive, but they did display fear and concern for their brother, often asking if heΒ was going to die. They were also seeking attention from and wanted more time with Mom and Dad, since we were at the hospital a lot. Overall, IΒ would say that they have a greater awareness than a lot of children of howΒ bad things can happen in an instant. Their perspective on what is really important in life has built character in them at a young age.
You suddenly lost your husband last year to a heart attack. HowΒ did you manage to put one foot in front of the other and continueΒ with the foundationβs biggest fundraiser, the pumpkin patch?
Losing Rod suddenly was devastating beyond words. It came out ofΒ nowhere, but I knew that he would want us to continue with the great workΒ that he and I began, to help these families. So I just did it. I put one foot in front of the other and drew on my hope and faith in God. That is the onlyΒ thing that allowed me to keep going. I also have an amazing network ofΒ friends and family who stood beside me and cared for me and the boysΒ during that time, and they continue to support us in so many ways still. Rod would want us to continue our mission, and he always believed that God allowedΒ us to go through what we did with Cooper so that we could be a strongΒ presence in helping others who are going through that storm. I do it to continue that fight and honor him.
What would you tell other women who are experiencing thoseΒ valley-of-the-shadow moments in their lives?
Take time to really search within yourself about your beliefs. My personalΒ relationship with Christ was always important, but it was during the reallyΒ difficult and seemingly hopeless times that He was more real to me than ever, and gave me the strength to keep going. I would also say that it isΒ important to let others help you. This was hard for me to do, but I haveΒ realized that sometimes I just have to let go of trying to be βsuperwomanβΒ and let others lift me up. I have learned that people really do take joy inΒ helping others when they are in a dark place, and not letting them do so steals them of the joy they receive in giving.
What is your dream for the Cooper Trooper Foundation? How does it impact the lives of families in ourΒ community?
My hope and dream for theΒ Cooper Trooper Foundation is that we can offerΒ support to more and more siblings, who are often overlooked by others, so that they know just how special they are. I also hope we can supportΒ parents in caring for all of their children when their world is suddenly turnedΒ upside down by childhood cancer, by offering this resource to their wellΒ children. I also pray that through our foundation and many grassroots organizations like ours, we can raise enough awareness and funding to support childhood cancer research, so that the number one disease killer of Americaβs children no longer exists.
Okay, a few questions that are decidedly lighter in tone. Do you even carve a pumpkin at your house?
Yes. We actually carve three pumpkins. One for each of my boys. We even roast the pumpkin seeds!
Finish this sentence: As soon as we sell the last pumpkin and wrap up the PumpkinΒ Patch for the year I β¦
Take a deep breath, say a prayer to thank God for a successful patch, then quickly rush home to go trick-or-treating with my neighbors!
What are you reading right now?
Aside from my Bible, One Thousand Gifts, by Ann Voskamp, when I have a moment to read.
Do you have a hidden talent?
I have enjoyed writing on my blog, Cooper and the Cooks, over the last year. I wouldnβt say it is a hidden talent, but it is freeing and therapeutic for me to write about my journey through some difficult times.
What is your favorite guilty pleasure?
Dark chocolate pomegranates.
Your favorite restaurant in Williamson County?
Garciaβs.Β I love Mexican food!
What three things (aside from faith, family and friends) can you not live without?
- Jesus CallingΒ devotional
- Sonic Diet Vanilla Coke
- Bath and Body Works candles
To support the Cooper Trooper Foundation, head to the pumpkin patch, where 100 percent of the proceeds from all purchases benefit the foundation.Β
Images of Missy and her children byΒ Abigail Bobo Photography
