Best Pieces of Advice: Birmingham FACES 2017

Danielle Busby, star of TLC’s “Outdaughtered” | Image: Bennett Brown Photography
What’s the best piece of advice you could offer a new mom of multiples?
“There is always tomorrow. A lot of people ask, ‘How do you do it?’ and the No. 1 thing is: I start my day off with trying to keep God as the focus, so with a devotional and keeping my head clean and telling myself I was given this life to take care of and to be the mother of these extraordinary babies and Blayke, and that’s what I’m going to do every day. And it’s gonna be challenging, but there’s always the start of tomorrow, and you will get through it.”

T. Marie King, Civil Rights Activist and Programs Manager at Alys Stephens Performing Arts Center’s ArtPlay | Image: Eric & Jamie Photography
What’s your best piece of advice?
“Forgiveness is for you, not for other people. I think people forget that it has nothing to do with letting a person off the hook. It has to do with freeing yourself from the imprisonment of whatever that issue is that keeps you angry.”

Connie Hill, President and CEO of Girls Inc. of Central Alabama | Image: Eric & Jamie Photography
What is your best piece of advice?
“Remember that you did not get where you are by yourself and to be grateful for those who helped you. And always look for others to help.”

Gigi Douban, News Director of Public Radio WBHM 90.3 | Image: Eric & Jamie Photography
What is your best piece of advice?
“Don’t overthink things. Sometimes when I’m stuck on something, like a script I’m having trouble writing, there’s some underlying fear that it won’t be good enough. But I’ve learned to relax and think to myself, ‘It ain’t that deep.’”

Catherine Garratt Fothergill and Luiza Boaventura of the Alabama Ballet | Image: Eric & Jamie Photography
What is your best piece of advice?
Catherine: “Take the time to discover what is truly at your core, what is important to you. Give and share what you love with the world and be gracious.”
Luiza: “I really think that if you can’t find the good in people, you cannot find the good in yourself, so look to others with kind eyes. There’s a million different angles to the same situation. Try to look from a good angle. It might sound silly, but it’s an extremely hard thing to do, especially in my profession where we are trained to find what is wrong or to find the mistakes. I work on that every day.”

Maacah Davis, Creator of Belladonna Magazine | Image: Eric & Jamie Photography
What is your best piece of advice?
“I think the best advice that I could give is what I try to remind myself: You couldn’t have known what you didn’t know. So, basically try to cut yourself some slack. Be nice to yourself. Live your best life.”

Shauna Stuart, Social Media Specialist for AL.com | Image: Eric & Jamie Photography
What is your best piece of advice?
“This a hybrid of some of the best advice I’ve gotten, whether it was through ‘Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday’ or just a friend: Get over it! Don’t be afraid to hit that reset button. When something happens, you’ve got to move on. If you’re having trouble with something, figure it out. Handle your life. Handle your situation. Really get a handle on whatever you’re going through.”

Glennon Doyle Melton, Author of Carry On, Warrior, Love Warrior and blog, Momastery | Image: Amy Paulson
What’s the best piece of advice you have received, and from whom?
“My friend Nadia Bolz-Weber always says, ‘Write from your scars, not your open wounds.’ And I think that is important. The way I write, people think that I am writing everything in real time. Oftentimes when people do that, it comes off as a cry for help and not art. We have to let what happened to us sink in to get truth out of it, then serve it back to people. My other favorite piece of advice that I got recently was from my friend Liz Gilbert. I called to ask for parenting advice, which is so funny because she doesn’t have any kids. But she said, ‘Your family is in an airplane and there is a lot of turbulence right now. What do we do when there is a lot of turbulence? We look to the flight attendant. And if they are freaking out, we start to freak out, but if they look calm, you feel calm. So your kids are looking at you on the plane right now. You need to keep smiling and serve some freaking peanuts.’ Since I have been steady throughout this time, my kids believe that despite the turbulence, we will all be okay.”

Mary Catherine Folmar, Owner of Cotton + Quill | Image: Eric & Jamie Photography
What is your best piece of advice?
“Words from my Pop: ‘If it were easy, everyone would be doing it.’”

Alison Decker Scott, Executive Director of the Baptist Health Foundation | Image: Eric & Jamie Photography
What is your best piece of advice?
“I heard this in a seminar: ‘You have to plant trees under whose shade you do not expect to sit.’ That quote is a guiding light for me. It’s always spoken to my heart and guided the work that I do in the nonprofit world. It’s funny though, because I always refer to this quote, people will joke with me about trees. My parting gift at the Junior League was a photo collage of different trees that featured all the nonprofits I’d ever worked for!”

Khaula Hadeed, Executive Director of the Alabama Chapter of the Council on American-Islamic Relations | Image: Eric & Jamie Photography
What’s the best advice you’ve been given?
“It is my family that somehow keeps giving me the same advice a million different ways from across the oceans: just be yourself. One never knows really that the hardest part of living is being yourself; trying to be the better version of yourself every day. I am a Muslim woman in America; I am an immigrant Muslim woman in America today. I can’t be anyone else.”

Scarlotte Deupree Kilgore, Executive Director of the Birmingham Children’s Theatre | Image: Eric & Jamie Photography
If you could go back 10 or even 20 years, what advice would you give yourself?
“Not to take myself too seriously. At age 15, things are never as good or as bad as you think.”

LaVonne Williamson of the St. Elias Lebanese Food and Cultural Festival | Image: Eric & Jamie Photography
What’s the best piece of advice you have to offer?
“My mother was a peacemaker, and these are her phrases: ‘Always weigh your words before you speak.’ I try to think about that a lot before I open this big mouth of mine. And I always tended to worry a lot, and the one key she always told me — because I would stress out and want to make everything perfect — she would say to me before going to bed, ‘Don’t worry your pretty little head; God will take care.’”

Avani and Rupa Patel of Avani Rupa Fine Jewelers | Image: Eric & Jamie Photography
What is one piece of advice that has stuck with you throughout your journey?
Rupa: “From my dad, who said, ‘If you want to walk through that wall, you can.’”
Avani: “Both my parents have always told me that if you want something, you go out and do it, and we’ll be here to support you, so that has always and will always stick with me. But my uncle, who has been my mentor since I returned to Birmingham from California, inspires me to make a difference. He says, ‘You’re doing great, Avani, but what do you want people to remember you for?’ That has always stuck with me.”

Becca Self, Founder of FoodChain | Image: Stacey Gudeman Photography
What is the best piece of advice you have received?
“Follow the things you are passionate about. Never lose the ability to laugh (particularly at yourself). Always learn from others.”

Kirstin Hoff, Founder of nonprofit Chick 4a Cause | Image: Eric & Jamie Photography
What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever been given?
“My grandmother would tell me, among many other wise things, that ‘Sometimes a nap can solve what seems like life’s biggest problems.’ She was right. If I was worried or upset and took a 15-minute nap, the world often looked clearer. I find myself passing on her advice to my children often.”

Beth Doyle, Owner of The Collective | Image: Eric & Jamie Photography
What is your best piece of advice?
“You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.”

Remedios Perez, President of Adelante Alabama’s Board of Directors | Image: Eric & Jamie Photography
What is your best piece of advice?
“Always look forward, keep fighting and never look back.”

Chandler Bibb, Director of Development for Children’s of Alabama | Image: Eric & Jamie Photography
What’s the best advice you have to offer?
“Take care of yourself. Lou Lacey, Director of Emotional Wellness at Children’s, often tells this to our staff at the hospital. At work and at home, we give so much to others we often put ourselves last. Take time for you. Take a vacation, read a book or go take a nap — whatever works for you.”

Kristin Schell, Author of The Turquoise Table: Finding Community and Connection in Your Own Front Yard | Image: Kasandra Keyes
With four kids, how do you have time for your blog and the book, and to follow your own advice and remain connected to family and friends?
“You know what? It’s not either/or, it’s both/and. I’m sitting in the carpool while I’m talking to you, and I’m totally transparent about that. My family always will come first. If not, then what message does that send? One of the frustrations that I was having is that I love Southern hospitality, and I love to have people in my house. But that’s not always a blessing to my kids or my husband. And, quite frankly, I can’t keep the house clean enough to have people over.
But the need [to have real-life interactions and relationships] is still there. So you and I can meet outside, and you don’t have to see all the crud on the couch. Then it serves the purpose. So, truthfully, it’s not how do I do it all, it’s just become a way of life, which is the way hospitality’s supposed to be. It’s not supposed to be something we do, it’s supposed to be something we are.”

Stacy Thompson, Environmental Specialist at Vulcan Materials Company | Image: Eric & Jamie Photography
What is your best piece of advice?
“It’s not about you. Accepting this is incredibly liberating. I used to worry endlessly what other people thought of me and would speculate that their words and actions had more to do with something I did or said than could ever possibly have been the case. I respect and value the opinions of others, but my confidence doesn’t come from others. That comes from within. Life is so much more fulfilling when you live to serve others.”

Megan Melgaard, Founder of Fix My Swim and Director of Events for Swim Across America | Image: CatMax Photography
It seems like, throughout your story, you’ve said “yes” a lot — whether to act in a movie, start a business or launch a nonprofit. For our readers who may be considering some opportunities but are just afraid to say yes, what advice would you give them to step outside of their comfort zone and try new things?
“You really never know until you try, and if you can use your internal compass to help guide you, I think a lot of us have the answers inside, but we have the tendency to bury them. So I would encourage people to uncover their internal compass and listen to their intuition, and rely on divine intervention, because it will point you the right way. I have the tendency to get in my own way at times, so I’d also say, take a step back and use the support system, or build a support system, that you can use as a sounding board. Say, ‘This is really where I think I should go, what do you think? What are the pros and cons?’ And at the end of the day, exercise caution. If you’re looking at a trail that has three different paths that you could take, it’s okay to go down one of them. But listen to yourself and know the way back, in case you decide, ‘OK, I don’t really feel good about this path that I have taken; I can go back and take another route.’ More or less, just be aware and leave a trail of breadcrumbs.”

Amanda Foshee, Founder of Sojourns by Brownell and Travel Advisor at Brownell Travel | Image: Eric & Jamie Photography
What is your best piece of advice for traveling internationally?
“Learn about the locals! Try to learn a few words in the local language — ‘hello’ and ‘thank you’ will get you far — and spend a little part of your trip off the typical tourist track, whether that’s meeting locals or trying local food or traditions.”

Janet Ivey, Host of Nashville Public Television’s interstitial series “Janet’s Planet,” TEDx speaker, Ambassador and Spokesperson for the Children’s Television Network, actress, member of the National Space Society Board of Governors and Nashville News 2’s “Solar Eclipse Expert” | Image: Grannis Photography 
What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever been given?
“I was a sophomore at Belmont. I was feeling a little down — I wasn’t sure where life was taking me. Sarah Cannon came every year [to speak at Belmont], and it was the most packed chapel that we ever had. I remember she said three things: Love God, never take yourself too seriously and always be kind.”

Eryka Perry, Executive Chef at Michael’s Restaurant and Founder of Not Just Catering | Image: Eric & Jamie Photography
What’s the best advice you have to give?
“Create better yesterdays. Tomorrow never comes. Most people focus on tomorrow. I evaluate my days every morning. Today will always become yesterday. How can I do better today? Today’s goal is to do better than I did yesterday.”

Dr. Stephanie McCain, Director of Animal Health at the Birmingham Zoo | Image: Eric & Jamie Photography
What is your best piece of advice?
“If you really want to achieve a goal, you need to be persistent and jump in with both feet.”

Cheri Leavy & Whitney Wise Long of The Southern C
What is the best piece of advice you have received and from whom?
Cheri: “Hire people smarter than you are. We succeeded there with the hire of Dominique Paye, our digital media director. Whitney and I wouldn’t want to be on this journey without her. Same with Leapfrog PR Co. They have been with us from the start of the Summits and bring so much strategy to the Coterie. Nicely Built, our new website developers, are an integral part of our future.”
Whitney: “’There but for the grace of God, go I.’ My mom always said this growing up, and it has stuck with me since then. It floats through my consciousness many times a day, and it truly helps in being reminded to have an ‘attitude of gratitude’ and also in realizing how fortunate I am in both my personal and professional life.”

Gin Phillips, Author of The Well and the Mine and Fierce Kingdom and Founder of Wordsmiths | Image: Eric & Jamie Photography
What’s the best advice you have to offer?
“Do something you love. Your job takes up around 75 percent of your life. That’s too much time to spend doing something that’s a chore.”

Emmylou Harris & Melissa Ann Barton of Mod Squad Martha, Crossroads Campus and Bonaparte’s Retreat dog rescue
What’s the best piece of advice you’ve been given?
Melissa Ann: “My momma always told me to be kind, be yourself and like yourself enough to like others because being those things makes it easy to follow your dreams!”
Emmylou: “Follow your bliss.”

Dr. Michele Kong, Pediatric Doctor and Scientist at UAB, Co-Founder of KultureCity and marathon runner | Image: Eric & Jamie Photography  
What is your best piece of advice?
“Never settle.”

Race Car Driver Sydney McKee | Image: Charity Ponter Photography
What’s your best piece of advice?
“My best piece of advice is to focus on what you can control. There are many variables in my life that I have no control over, and focusing on them only causes unnecessary stress and worry. Instead, I try to focus on putting my best into the things that I can control and letting go of the things that I cannot.”

Fawn Weaver, Author of Happy Wives Club: One Woman’s Worldwide Search for the Secrets of a Great Marriage | Image: Keith Miles
What is a valuable piece of advice you have been given?
“If you look for good, you will find it. Focus on the now, and all you need will be found in that present moment.”

Rebecca Williamson of Holmsted Fines | Image: Eric & Jamie Photography
What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever been given?
“Don’t be afraid to ask lots of questions from others in your industry, because their good and bad experiences will be so valuable. And I ask a LOT of questions.”

Charity Ponter of Charity Ponter Photography | Image: Eric & Jamie Photography
If you could go back 10 years, what advice would you give yourself?
“Probably just that everything is going to work out, so all 10 years of freak-outs and second-guessing is pretty pointless.”

Magda Sayeg, Textile Artist and the “Mother of Yarn-Bombing” | Image: Ben Sayeg. Prop Styling: CJ Dockery
Any advice or quotes?
“There are too many … Think fast, talk slow. I love that one … I could go on and on. Actually, here’s the thing. I decided a long time ago I would not have filtered interviews. For advice for women … I’m not sure how deep you want me to go … Not everyone gets to have the conventional life with supportive parents. Most of the time it’s really hard to grow into an adult. Then, you finally feel empowered and stop taking this shit anymore. I’m going to tell the truth even if that makes people feel uncomfortable. Life can be so oppressive that people don’t come back. But, that doesn’t have to happen. You can come from dark places and you can come out shining. I could live the rest of my life complaining. Now, I’m a globally recognized artist. My mother still comes from the belief that women are here for men. She doesn’t care that my TED Talk has had over a million views … she cares that I’m not married. My want is to let women know that nothing is insurmountable. You can get to the other side alive and well and be proud of yourself.”

Javanté Ingram, ABC 33/40 Anchor & Co-Host of “Talk of Alabama” | Image: Eric & Jamie Photography
What’s the best advice you have to give or the best advice you’ve been given?
“Have a strong work ethic, be kind and always be true to yourself.”

Kristen Greenwood, Executive Director of GirlSpring | Image: Eric & Jamie Photography
What’s the best advice you’ve been given or the best advice you have to give?
“The best advice I have ever been given, and that I also give out is to never settle. You won’t get what you want in life if you don’t ask for it.”