āTo be hungry is to be human,ā says Caroline B. Cook, the Nashville-based author of Hungry: Celebrating Life After Overcoming an Eating Disorder. “We’re born hungry.” And yet, how many of us go to war with our hunger every day?
Eating disorders are our countryās leading fatal mental illness. Nearly one person dies from related complications every hour, a staggering statistic that warrants significantly more attention than it receives. Caroline broaches the subject in her new book, released at a time when girls and women are feeling immense pressure ā particularly from social media.
So much pressure that the CDC reports one in three teen girls in the U.S. has seriously considered committing suicide this year alone.
These are alarming numbers, but Caroline offers a message of hope by humbly sharing her own recovery story and how she found freedom from an eating disorder. āFood, being hungry, taking care of our bodies, and enjoying meals together are some of life’s greatest gifts,ā says Caroline. āItās why we were made to have an appetite.ā
In her book, the mother of four shares her experiences raising a family with a focus on fostering positive relationships with food and body image. On the heels of the release of Hungry, we sat down with Caroline for a Q&A to hear more about her book, her thoughts on dieting, and her advice for young girls and women.
Why did you write Hungry?
I had to. When I got better and tasted recovery, I remember thinking, āIāve got to tell people about this!ā I donāt think I would have gone down this road if someone had warned me. If I had written this book before I had kids, it would have been a very different book. It might have been okay, but itās much richer and better now that Iāve raised three daughters.
Did you write Hungry for girls or mothers?
It really had to be for girls. I was picturing a very specific girl when I wrote the book. I think thereās a lot to be gleaned as a parent reading it, and Iāve had a lot of moms read it and really be educated on what their girls are sensing and what theyāre going through. Iāve talked to moms, and Iāve talked to girls, and I have different things to say to both.
What do you hope readers take away from reading Hungry?
There are very few people we know who have never really struggled with either their body image or eating. I hope readers read it and think, āWow, that sounds awful.ā I canāt tell you how many people have said to me in the past, āI wish I was anorexic for just a minute. You have amazing discipline, and you are just really skinny!ā I hope readers see that this is a sickness and that itās preventable. I hope they are sparked with a sense of how you can overcome an addiction.
For the girl who is afraid to pick up the book and doesnāt have a positive female mentor in her life, what do you want her to hear?
That you are precious; you were made perfectly. Read the book, and youāre probably going to be hopeful. I hope this book points to the possibility of living without prison walls. The bad news is that this is going to be really hard to get over. The good news is that the ball of energy, your fire, your discipline, isnāt going to go away, and you can use it for other things. For good things. I think weāre afraid that getting better is going to turn us into average, mediocre.
What role do you believe moms have in shaping their daughtersā relationships with food?
Most of the time, girls with an eating disorder have moms who struggle with one too. Of course, girls are going to be weird about food if their mom is weird about food. A mother is the first up-close-and-personal experience girls have with a mature woman. If a mom doesnāt feel good enough, how in the world is a daughter ever going to feel good enough?
As youāve raised three girls, what do you teach them about body image and peer pressure, especially with social media?
We do not diet. We do not talk negatively about our bodies. Theyāve never heard me say, āDoes this make me look fat?ā We eat dinner together. There are no off-limits foods. We try to eat healthily, but we also have a whole lot of fun with cheeseburgers and fries. My daughters would tell you Iām not a stickler for stuff like that. They see me act normal with food, and I think thatās really important. We donāt weigh ourselves. Itās an overall feeling of contentment physically, and I think itās been really helpful for them.
What advice do you have for girls and women struggling with eating ā on their worst days?
There are going to be triggers along the way; itās a long road. Take it day by day. Donāt hang out with people who are obsessing over their bodies. If I hear women talking about what they eat or wear, I walk away. I donāt weigh myself. If I did, that number would always be stuck in my head. Know that you can have an eating disorder again. Itās important to stay healthy mentally and set boundaries. Know who you will call or what you will do if you feel that scary temptation.
Not all eating disorders look alike. Many of us struggle with food.
Itās rare for someone to entirely avoid challenges with body image or eating ā just because someone doesnāt appear to be struggling doesnāt mean they arenāt suffering internally. The reality is that less than 6% of those who struggle with eating disorders are medically diagnosed as underweight. One personās eating disorder may not look like someone elseās. The struggle can appear as extreme picky eating or a constant āneedā to lose those last few pounds. An estimated 28 million Americans suffer from an eating disorder at some point in their lives.
If youāre looking for hope, Carolineās words are a good place to start. A book written for anyone who has ever struggled with food, body image, or self-esteem, Hungry points to a need that we all have ā feeling hungry ā and shows that hunger can also translate to a longing for love, purpose, meaning, and connection.
For more on Caroline, visit her website or follow her on Instagram. If you are struggling with an eating disorder and need support, please contact the Eating Disorders Helpline.
All photography by Warner Tidwell unless otherwise noted.
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