Mismatched Bikinis

I’m writing this post on my 39th birthday.  Yes, I am being honest about my age, and I will from now on stick at this number.  So, I am on the precipice of being 40 but I sure don’t feel that old.

While I might not be old (yet), there are definitely times when I show my age.  This week at the beach has been one of those times.

So before my trip, I procure a cute Lands End bikini, a retro cut navy and white polka dot.  It is shown below in orange and white.  It covers everything appropriately and is so cute and matchy.  I loved it.

Well, I loved it until I got to the beach.

And everyone was wearing suits that looked like this:

I had the only matched bikini on at the beach.

So I asked my 20 year-old cousin, tan and resplendent in her mismatched bikini, if EVERYONE had this but me.  She dead-panned, “yes, but you look fine.”  That is code for, “yes old lady, we are not even looking your way, but you are acceptable. Now move on, shuffleboard starts at 5pm.”

 

I will say that even though the tops and bottoms are mismatched, they are on the same thread.  I only saw one bikini this week, where a girl was wearing a paisley pink top and red plaid bottoms, that I gave a thumbs down.  I realize you are not “trying” to look cutesy, but you need to “try” a little.

 

 

I would theorize that the trend is younger.  A 39-year old mother of three on the beach in a mismatched animal print bikini is not cool.  Sorry, I want to do it, but that ship has sailed.

Exhibit A:  Gwyneth Paltrow, wearing a bikini tastefully, and of course in Sardinia.  I guess all the rooms were booked up here in Gulf Shores, Alabama.

So to match or mismatch, that is the question.  For me, I’m just happy to be at the beach at all, bathing suit notwithstanding.  Let’s be honest here people, it is my cover-up that is really the more important part of the ensemble.