I have had two conversations about urban chickens this past week, specifically about their poo. Let’s face it, chickens create a LOT of filth. It’s enough to dissuade many from embracing the whole fresh-eggs-every-morning thing. And, God bless America, where there is a problem, there is almost always someone who can sell you a solution. Apparently some people really want cleaner chickens so that said cluck-ers can become house pets, or at least leave the backyard cleaner. The solution? The chicken diaper.
Urban chickens are a big trend–a movement even–and if the whole uncleanliness factor is what is holding you back, here is your solution. I mean, you still have to change the diaper, but now your chicken(s) can walk around your house, or yard, or wherever, and not make a mess.
They come in different patterns, not just Huggie white. I’m hoping someone creates a bandana or denim chicken diaper, as that might just push me into the me into the chicken-wanting category, cats and dogs be damned. I want some diaper wearing chickens!
Oh, wait, you want to walk your chicken around the nabe? I mean who needs a free roaming chicken, let’s do a leash-walked chicken instead. (There are leash laws for dogs, after all.) No problem. Some diapers are made with a D-ring on the back so that you can attach a leash. It’s okay, there is no special market for chicken leashes, just use the dog (or child) leash.
And it gets better. Have you heard about chicken saddles? Okay, sometimes I’m just a tiny bit s-l-o-w; I thought this was to strap mice or something to them, which was really kinda odd. But, the truth may be odder. Apparently they are ridden … but by the roosters. (I’ll give you a moment to allow that thought to sink in.) Roosters are, um, aggressive and, perhaps, overly passionate when riding their hens. Feathers go everywhere and blood is sometimes drawn as they peck away at the poor hen’s back. I mean, who knew? The saddle solves the problem and keeps little missy chicky safe and with a full backside of feathers.
Prediction: The country chickens, the ones without fashionable diapers and with bare, bloody backs from being mounted, are about to have some serious envy over the spoiled urban chickens who get to prance around and check out which member of the backyard has the newest and most designer diaper (that their owner, again I must note, has to clean out). There must be insane jealousy over the urban chicken’s access to sex gear. I wonder if chicken wipes are next, for a chicken bottom. They can smell like lavender to keep the hens calm and happy so as to produce higher quality eggs.
And, speaking of higher quality eggs, let’s move onto the burgeoning realm of chicken music. Certain music, mostly classical, but some love songs from heavy metal 80′s groups as well, helps chickens lay eggs for a longer span and even continue to lay into the fall and winter months. Check out iTunes to see whole sections of chicken music. Really. **Okay, I’m totally kidding on this one, there is no Chicken Barry White, but with chicken diapers and saddles on the market, I’d be willing to bet the music won’t be far behind.**
I certainly hope you found this as interesting as I did. Cluck Cluck.
And, when doing my research, I found this post on an NPR blog from May 1st: