French Pedicure, Just Say “Non”

Okay, I’m just going to come out and say it.  We’re all friends here right?  There is definitely an elephant in the room.

 

Pachyderm Pedicure

I am so thrilled that you took the time and effort to get a pedicure.  Nothing thrills me less than girls that wear sandals with nary a polish or even a buff on their toes.  So, I appreciate a polished toe.

But I have to ask that you please stop doing a French Pedicure.  Pretty pretty please with a cherry on top.  Let’s discuss:

 

Two left feet?

 

No toenail is supposed to show the whites of your nail.  That means your toenails need to be clipped, NOT ENHANCED by white paint.  I can hear your toenails clicking on the floor whenever I see a French Manicured toe.

Pedicured talons with toe nunchucks

Let’s face it ladies, toes are ugly.  Paint them a monochromatic color and move on.  Fix it and forget it.

Here are some basic rules of thumb, I mean big toe:

1. Please do not get acrylic nails on your toes.

2. Please do not trick up your toenails, you are not in high school.

Like Pimp my Ride for your toenails

3. Please do not grow your toenails this long ever.  Wouldn’t you wake yourself up all night scratching the sheets with your toenails?  I shudder the thought.

I’m nauseous.  A. that her nails are that long and B. that she is driving barefoot.

4.  Please leave the toe jewelry at home.  Fingers show off rings because they are elongated and are such a pretty backdrop for jewelry.  Toes look like stumps.  Toe rings look like stump tourniquets.  No elongation is happening.  Get my picture.

Looks like this little piggy got engaged.

Ladies, there are lots of other options out there.  This post can be the e-Harmony of nail matches, acting as your guide for the perfect fit.

Allow me to introduce the “one-color” approach.  Think neat, shorter, clean, monochromatic nails, thereby making the toes seem longer and “simpler”. Try a light color on your toes; use the color that you would have used on your French Pedicure.

Lovely light pedicure.

For those of you weaning off the French pedicure, this is an excellent first step.  It’s a French without the white exaggeration.  Heck, go crazy and do three coats.  I recommend Essie Ballet Slipper, OPI’s Bubble Bath or OPI’s Samoan Sand (shown above.)

As you gain more confidence, go for some color.  Some great colors to try this season, most of these were actually StyleBlueprint picks during the summer, are Essie’s Turks and Caicos, OPI’s MOD-ern Girl, OPI’s Barefoot in Barcelona and Essie’s Bermuda Shorts.  (These colors are shown on fingers, not toes. But, would be lovely on toes as well!).

Turks and Caicos by Essie

Mod-ern Girl by OPI

Bermuda Shorts by Essie

Barefoot in Barcelona by OPI

French Pedicures, unlike their people, are not chic.  They are, for lack of a better term, passe.  Their time has passed.  Time to clean up our toes and move on friends.

There, I’ve said it.  Are we still friends?

Weigh in on this discussion and tell us what you think.  Comments, please….!